Of Threesomes and Criminal Blowjobs

Of Threesomes and Criminal BlowjobsShe took another swig of the beer bottle. I had never seen a girl down Guinness that fast. I hate Guinness. She finished. I ordered another for her. Even the waiter was aghast at the display of alcoholic machismo at our table. I didn’t care much for her. Damn, I didn’t even know her second name! I wasn’t attracted to Evelyn. 

She had a limber figure. ‘A’ cup boobs and nothing to boast about at the derriere. She was like a boy to me. I tolerated her for one sole reason, she was to be the third wheel to my Rickshaw that night. Oh, in case you don’t speak “literary genius”, I mean Evelyn was going to join my girl and me in a threesome. Yes, fellas, a round of hi5’s is totally acceptable.

I don’t have the historical nous to tell you when the first threesome took place, but if Spartacus, the TV series, is anything to go by it’s been happening for centuries! You and two females, or three guys, or three females, or the DEVILISH two guys and a girl. It comes in any manner of scenarios (no, a tryst with a hermaphrodite doesn’t count). The point of a threesome is the more the merrier. If you have ever been in one you can attest to the fact that if executed properly, it is orgasmic on an infinite level akin to nothing your base senses can ever comprehend.

So, after drinking and dancing and three-way kissing on the dance floor (yes, that happened), I suggested we ditch the joint. We got into a taxi and 10 minutes later we were at my girl’s house. The tension in the air was palpable. We all knew what we were here for. They disrobed and took my clothes off. I asked them to dim the lights, as I was sure I wouldn’t be able to keep my cool after I saw what they were about to do.

Evelyn laid my girl down and parted her thighs. She started kissing her lady lips slowly, then she asked me to enter her from behind. I had like 10 condoms! I put one on and slid right in. Her pussy was so tight! Good thing the Scotch whiskey I was high on had dulled my senses. I wasn’t going to cum soon.

My girl had started moaning, she started trembling as the waves of ecstasy took her higher. Evelyn was also about to explode, they did so simultaneously. My ego was the size of an Elephant’s nuts at this moment! The girls decided it was my turn.

Evelyn removed my condom and took me in her mouth, I could feel the back of her throat. Her head game was criminal! I started drawing breath, to pace myself. I whispered to her that I wasn’t going to melt in her mouth. She put another condom on me, pushed me down, and straddled me. It wasn’t long before her back was convulsing and arching.

Her second orgasm brought on that fast by the eroticism of it all. My girl sat on my face and she too rode my tongue to a mind-numbing climax.

The thought of two women cumming was enough to send me over the edge! We all lay there, spent.

Pulling off a threesome is basically rocket science. Women don’t like to share. That night, I was the one who was invited to the act. Had I initiated, I would’ve been accused of being unsatisfied in our relationship by my girl and also of being attracted to Evelyn.

Ladies! Ladies! No need for violence!

Besides, sex parties are common these days, girls are more adventurous, people are coming out of the closet in legendary fashion and campuses are a den of inequity of biblical Sodomic proportions. It’s a new age…

My First Experience With a Nairobi Prostitute

My First Experience With a Nairobi ProstituteAll my life I had dreams of going to Nairobi like most of my older cousins. I had seen photos of how great the buildings looked, and I was told the smell of money fills the air. Most of all, I heard that the women there were the most beautiful you could ever see, and they loved rugged farm-bred young men like me. I knew I would enjoy it.

The 14 seater shuttle flew into a dark tunnel and interrupted my daydreams. We were on the wide smooth road from Thika, and it was unlike anything I’d ever seen in my native part of the country. It was raining a few minutes when the shuttle stopped at its Nairobi booking office and we alighted. The rain must have sent the beautiful women scampering to save their hair; I’d heard that about them. I walked down the street to find a place to shelter from the rain before I could figure out how to get to my cousin’s place.

That’s when I looked up a stairway right on the pavement and my heart almost stopped. There were many women standing there talking. They all had hair that seemed like it should never be rained on, and they were dressed in ways I’d never seen. I saw short skirts that exposed soft inner thighs. Tight pants that exaggerated the roundness of enormous behinds. Tiny blouses that had enormous breasts almost bursting out of them. I knew I would have to take a closer look.

I wasn’t as naïve as most villagers on their first day in town. I knew I had to be careful. I grasped my bag tighter and put my hand in the pocket that had the 200 shillings I had left, then I made my way up the heavenly stairway. The first lady I passed looked at me like she could read my thoughts. She grabbed my arm and pulled me towards her as if she wanted to shove my whole body in between her cleavage. I broke free and took a few more steps towards the top, with all their eyes now on me.

I quickly made it to the top of the stairway. As quickly as I could while fighting off all the hands trying to pull me in their direction while others made quick dips in my pockets. Someone blurted out that they should let me be since there was no money in any of my pockets, and this filled the whole stairway with laughter.

At the top, the doorway opened up into a large hall filled with low tables and wooden benches. All these were filled with mostly men, some of whom stared at me the whole time as I made my way to an empty corner. The air is thick with cigarette smoke but the smell of stale spilled beer and the nearby bathrooms still managed to fight through and assault my nose.

Even before I sat down, I was promptly joined by a young-looking girl who put her hand around and my shoulder and asked me if I was ready to pay for a room. I was startled. I wasn’t sure what was going on. Even before I could find my voice, she had shoved her hand underneath the table and grabbed my slightly evident erection. I became permanently speechless as she gave me a long talk about how much fun we would have at a price I couldn’t refuse.

My weak protests were met with a few insults. I couldn’t understand city talk too well, but she said something about village boys not knowing a good thing when they see it. By this time, her hand had already been successful in undoing my pants’ buttons and zipper. She shoved her hand in there and grabbed my now completely erect dick and looked at me straight in the eyes.

“Nunua kitu nikunywe basi!” she barked.

I pulled out the hand that had been in my pocket the whole time and placed the 200 bob on the table. She took it and waved it to the only waitress, who came over and placed a beer in front of the lady who was now vigorously stroking my dick in her hands. She took a gulp and turned her attention to me again. I was enjoying it so much I could barely hear her talking.

Her rant was soon cut short by my cum shooting out and spilling all over her hand. I let out a grunt of pleasure and collapsed backward leaning on the wall, my eyes closed and my lips formed into a smile. She wiped her hand on my pants and asked me to pay up because she had other work to do.

What? I was listening now. She was looking at me with murder in her eyes. I tried to explain that all the money I had was spent on that beer.

“Haukua unaskiza? Nilikuambia ukimwaga unalipa!”

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